When a child is struggling, the whole family feels it. Family therapy works with the whole system — not just the individual — to understand what is happening between people, not just within them. This guide covers everything UK parents need to know about finding private family therapy or systemic family therapy for their family.
Family therapy — also called systemic family therapy or systemic practice — is a form of psychotherapy that works with families as a whole, rather than treating one member in isolation. It is based on the understanding that the difficulties a child or young person experiences exist within a context of relationships, and that lasting change often requires working with those relationships rather than the individual alone.
A family therapist does not take sides or apportion blame. Their role is to help family members understand each other’s perspectives, identify patterns in how the family communicates and relates, and find new ways of responding to difficulties that work better for everyone. The child’s presenting difficulty — whether that is behaviour, anxiety, school refusal, or relationship breakdown — is seen as a signal about something happening in the system, rather than a problem belonging solely to the child.
Systemic family therapy draws on a range of theoretical traditions — including narrative therapy, solution-focused approaches, attachment theory, and structural family therapy — and is adaptable to a wide range of family structures, cultures, and presenting difficulties. It is used with families of all shapes and sizes: single-parent families, blended families, families with adopted or foster children, and families navigating the impact of a child’s disability or diagnosis.
Sessions usually involve two or more family members attending together, though individual sessions with parents or with the child may also take place as part of the overall work.
Family therapy may be helpful when a child’s difficulties are affecting the whole family and standard individual support has not been sufficient, there is significant conflict within the family — between parents and children, between siblings, or between co-parents — that is affecting the child’s wellbeing, the family has experienced a significant change or loss — bereavement, divorce, a new diagnosis, a house move, or a change in family structure — and is struggling to adjust, a child is refusing to attend school and the whole family is affected by the daily crisis this creates, there are difficulties with a child’s behaviour that feel entrenched and where behavioural strategies alone have not produced change, a child has received a SEND diagnosis and the family is struggling to adapt, process the news, and agree on how to support them, or when parents feel isolated, exhausted, and at odds with each other about how to help their child.
Family therapy is not a last resort. Many families access it proactively during a difficult period, before difficulties become entrenched. It can also be a powerful complement to individual therapy a child is already receiving — helping the family understand and support the individual work.
Family therapy is available through CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) and some NHS community mental health teams, but access is typically via a GP or paediatrician referral and waiting times can be lengthy — often many months, and sometimes over a year. CAMHS provision varies considerably by area, and family therapy specifically may not be available in all services.
The fastest route to family therapy is to contact a private family therapist directly. No GP referral is required, and most private practitioners can offer an initial appointment within two to four weeks. Private family therapists are trained to the same professional standards as NHS colleagues and must be registered with the HCPC or an equivalent accredited body.
For families of children with an EHCP, family therapy may be included as a provision where it is identified as relevant to the child’s educational or health needs. Speak to your SEND caseworker or SENDIASS if you think this might apply. For families experiencing acute crisis — including domestic abuse, safeguarding concerns, or severe mental health deterioration — speak to your GP or local authority social care team for urgent routes to support.
Private family therapy fees vary depending on the therapist’s qualifications, experience, location, and the length and format of sessions.
A standard family therapy session (typically 60 to 90 minutes — longer than individual therapy sessions to accommodate multiple family members) costs between £80 and £200. Initial assessment sessions may be slightly longer and priced accordingly. Because family sessions are longer, costs per session are higher than individual therapy, though the number of people seen within that session can make it cost-effective in terms of overall impact.
Some therapists offer consultation sessions for parents only — to discuss concerns, understand the systemic dynamics, and agree a plan — before involving the wider family. These are typically priced as standard sessions.
Private health insurance increasingly covers family therapy as part of a psychological therapies benefit. Check your policy wording, confirm whether a GP referral is required, and ask your insurer whether they have approved family therapists on their panels. For families of children with an EHCP, local authority or NHS funding may be available where family therapy is identified as a health or therapeutic need. A report from a private family therapist can also support an EHCP application.
Family therapy sessions are structured but flexible, and the format varies depending on the therapist’s approach and the family’s presenting concerns.
Most family therapists begin with an assessment — usually one or two sessions with the whole family or with parents — to understand the history, the presenting difficulties, everyone’s perspective, and the goals for the work. This assessment also gives the therapist a sense of the family’s patterns of communication, the relationships between family members, and the strengths the family brings as well as the areas of difficulty.
In a typical session, the therapist facilitates conversation between family members — asking questions designed to help people understand each other’s perspectives, notice patterns, and consider new ways of thinking about the situation. Systemic therapists are trained in specific questioning techniques (such as circular questioning, externalising conversations, and reflecting processes) that create space for different views to emerge and for stuck patterns to shift.
Sessions are not about the therapist telling the family what to do. The therapist works collaboratively with the family to identify what they want to be different and to experiment with new approaches. The work is led by the family’s goals and is grounded in respect for the family’s own knowledge and strengths.
Between sessions, families are sometimes invited to try something different — a conversation, a change in routine, or a new response to a recurring situation. The results of these experiments become material for the next session.
Yes — you can contact a private family therapist directly without a GP referral. Most private practitioners accept self-referrals from families, and the initial contact is usually a brief phone or email enquiry followed by an assessment session.
For NHS family therapy through CAMHS or community mental health services, a GP or paediatrician referral is typically required. For private therapy, none of this is needed.
If your child is currently receiving individual therapy with another practitioner, it is good practice to let both therapists know. Family therapy and individual therapy can run in parallel and often complement each other well, but the practitioners should be aware of each other’s involvement to avoid conflicting approaches. Most experienced therapists are comfortable navigating this.
If your child has a diagnosis, bring any relevant reports to the first session — not because they define how the therapy will work, but because they provide useful context. The family therapist will form their own understanding of the family dynamics through the process, not from a diagnostic label.
Family therapy tends to be shorter than long-term individual therapy. Many families see meaningful change within six to twelve sessions, and some presenting difficulties resolve even more quickly. This is in part because working with the whole family system can create change more efficiently than working with one individual — when relationships shift, the effects ripple through the whole family.
That said, the duration depends significantly on the complexity and history of the presenting difficulties. Families dealing with longstanding entrenched patterns, significant trauma, or complex SEND needs may benefit from a longer piece of work. Your therapist should give you a realistic indication of likely timelines at the end of the assessment, along with clear goals and a plan for reviewing progress.
Family therapy often works in phases — an active phase of more frequent sessions, followed by review meetings spaced further apart to consolidate change. Some families return for booster sessions at key transition points — a new school year, a change in family structure, or a period of increased stress — even after completing a main course of therapy.
Family therapy is not indefinite. A good family therapist will help the family build the skills and understanding to navigate difficulties independently, not create long-term dependence on therapy.
No — family therapy is accessible privately without an EHCP. Any family can make direct contact with a private practitioner.
However, if your child has an EHCP and family therapy is identified as a therapeutic or health need that supports the child’s educational provision, it may be included as a provision under Section H (health) of the plan. If it is listed but not being delivered, you are entitled to request that the NHS or local authority ensures it is provided.
Even without an EHCP, a letter or report from a private family therapist can form part of the evidence submitted in an EHCP application or review — particularly where family dynamics, attachment difficulties, or a parent’s mental health are relevant factors affecting the child’s educational needs. Such reports should focus clearly on the child’s needs and the impact of the family context on their learning and development.
In the UK, the title “family therapist” is a protected title regulated by the Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC). Only practitioners who have completed an approved postgraduate training in systemic family therapy and are registered with the HCPC may legally call themselves a family therapist. You can verify any family therapist’s registration at hcpc-uk.org.
The professional body for family therapists is the Association for Family Therapy and Systemic Practice (AFT). AFT members are bound by a code of ethics and professional practice and are required to maintain continuing professional development and regular supervision. Membership of AFT in addition to HCPC registration is a strong indicator of professional commitment.
Family therapists may also be accredited through the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP), which has its own family and systemic practice section and maintains its own register of qualified practitioners. UKCP accreditation is an alternative route to demonstrating qualification for therapists who have trained through programmes that align with UKCP rather than HCPC standards.
When choosing a family therapist, confirm their HCPC registration or UKCP accreditation, ask about their experience with families in similar circumstances to yours — including any experience with SEND, adoption, or the specific presenting difficulty — and enquire about their approach to supervision and continuing development. All practitioners listed on The SEND List have had their stated qualifications verified before their listing goes live.
Does the whole family have to attend every session?
Not necessarily. The family therapist will discuss the format of sessions with you, and this can vary throughout the work. Some sessions may involve the whole family; others may be with parents alone, with siblings, or with the identified child individually. The therapist will use their clinical judgement about who should attend which sessions to make best use of the therapeutic space. Flexibility in who attends is one of the strengths of the systemic approach — it is the relationships and patterns that are being worked with, not a fixed group of people in a room.
Can family therapy help when parents are separated or divorced?
Yes — and separated or divorced parents bringing up a child together are one of the most common presentations in family therapy. Work can focus on improving co-parenting communication, reducing conflict that the child is exposed to, and helping each parent understand their child’s experience. Both parents do not need to attend every session, and a skilled family therapist will create a space where both perspectives are held without taking sides. If there is an active legal dispute or safeguarding concern, the therapist will need to be clear about the limits of their role and any reporting obligations.
My child has autism — is family therapy appropriate?
Yes, and it can be particularly valuable. Families of autistic children often face significant stress, exhaustion, and grief alongside the practical demands of caring for a child with additional needs. Family therapy can help parents understand their child’s experience more deeply, navigate disagreements about how to manage specific situations, and process the emotional impact of the diagnosis and its implications for the family. Look for a therapist who has experience working with neurodivergent children and families and who takes a neuro-affirming approach.
What is the difference between family therapy and couples therapy?
Couples therapy focuses on the relationship between two adults — typically partners — and the difficulties between them. Family therapy works with the family system as a whole, which includes but goes beyond the couple relationship. In practice there is overlap: some family therapists also offer couples work, and some couples work necessarily involves the impact on children. If your primary concern is the relationship between you and your partner rather than a child-related difficulty, couples therapy may be a better starting point — though your therapist will help you identify the most appropriate focus once they understand the full picture.
Every family therapist on The SEND List is HCPC-registered or UKCP-accredited and verified before listing. Search by location to find a qualified systemic family therapist near you across the UK.