Starting play therapy can feel like stepping into the unknown — particularly for parents who have never accessed this type of support before. Knowing what to expect at the beginning of the process can help your child feel more at ease, and help you feel more confident in the decision you have made.
In most cases, the first appointment does not involve your child at all. It is a consultation between the therapist and you as the parent or carer — usually lasting 50 to 60 minutes. The purpose of this meeting is to give the therapist a thorough understanding of your child’s background before any therapeutic work begins.
Expect to talk about what has prompted the referral, your child’s development and history, any diagnoses or assessments they have received, what their school situation is like, and what you are hoping therapy will help with. You do not need to have all the answers. The therapist is building a picture, not testing you.
This is also a good opportunity to ask questions. What is the therapist’s approach? How often will you receive feedback? What should you do if you have concerns between sessions? How long do they expect the work to take? A good therapist will welcome these questions.
The first session with your child will typically be an introductory meeting — a chance for them to meet the therapist and see the therapy room. The therapist’s aim at this stage is simply to help your child feel safe and comfortable, not to start therapeutic work immediately.
The therapy room will be equipped with a range of materials: a sandtray, art and craft supplies, puppets, figures and miniatures, story books, play dough, and other expressive tools. Your child is free to explore and engage with whatever draws their attention. They are not told what to do or what to talk about.
For many children — particularly autistic children or children who have been through difficult experiences — this initial session is mostly about familiarisation. They may spend the whole time looking at the toys, or they may engage quickly. Both are completely normal.
Play therapy is non-directive. The therapist follows the child’s lead, observing the themes and content of the play without directing it or interpreting it out loud. They create the conditions for safe expression rather than asking leading questions or telling the child how to feel.
Over time, the child’s play begins to reveal the emotional content they are processing — sometimes quite directly, sometimes in symbolic or metaphorical form. A child who has experienced trauma might repeatedly create the same scenario in the sandtray. A child managing anxiety might gravitate towards activities that give them a sense of control. The therapist holds all of this carefully, without forcing a narrative.
Play therapy is a confidential process. The therapist will not report the content of sessions back to you in detail, and this boundary is important — it is what allows the child to express themselves freely. However, you will not be left without any information.
Most play therapists offer a brief written or verbal update after each session, sharing broad themes or observations without breaching confidentiality. They will also schedule regular parent reviews — typically every six to eight sessions — where you can discuss progress, ask questions, and consider whether to continue or adjust the work.
If there is a safeguarding concern that emerges in the course of therapy, the therapist is obliged to act on it. They should explain their safeguarding policy clearly at the outset.
The language you use to introduce therapy to your child matters. For younger children, you might say something like: “We are going to meet someone whose job is to help children with big feelings. There are lots of toys in the room and you can play with whatever you like.” For older children, a more direct conversation about feelings and support is usually appropriate.
Avoid telling your child they have to talk about specific things, or that the therapist will “fix” them. The most helpful framing is that this is a safe space to play and be themselves, and that you will be nearby.
Between sessions, your role is to maintain consistency and warmth at home. Some children will want to talk about what happened in therapy; others will not. Both responses are healthy. Follow your child’s lead. If they seem more emotionally reactive in the early weeks, this is common — it is often a sign that something is beginning to move. Let your therapist know if you have concerns.
You can find SEND-aware play therapists across the UK on The SEND List. Every listing includes information about the therapist’s approach, specialisms, and how to make contact.